Matrix Dragon
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Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
I figured you baseball nuts would appreciate this idea I found on a blog.
quote: Walk him.
I'm sure that someone else has come up with this idea, but it's just occurred to me that this would be the best and most profound solution to The Barry Bonds Problem. If I were a major-league pitcher throwing against Barry Bonds, and I knew that there was a chance that he might homer off of me and make me an accomplice in this filthy business, I'd walk him. I'd be tempted to aim it right at his butt, but that wouldn't be sporting. No, I'd just signal the catcher and throw four lobs in the general direction of the on-deck circle.
I'd probably discuss it with the pitching coach first. He'd probably pull the manager into the discussion. Sure, they'd probably frown and blink for a few seconds when they heard the idea but then they'd feel a glow that they haven't felt since they looked at the schedule and learned who the Giants would be playing when Bonds needed just one more dinger.
Coaches and managers like to spread joy — go ahead and ask around; they're legendary for it — and soon, they'd post a notice right in the bullpen. Official club policy: no way, no how, not ever would the name and the dignity of this honorable ballclub (yes, even if it's the Phillies) be associated with the guy who drugged and lied his way past one of the greatest hitters who ever lived.
It would make every sportscast on every cable, network and local station. Twelve pitches thrown by three different pitchers to Bonds, each one so far outside that the catcher had to take two or three steps away from the plate to get at them. There could be absolutely no question about what had just happened. If walking Bonds happens to advance a runner to scoring position during a close game, well, that would just up the sincerity of the gesture, wouldn't it?
Other teams would hear about it and see the basic rightness of this policy. Nobody's cheating, nobody's lying, everything's on the up and up. It's just that nobody — nobody — wants to become a party to this business.
Days stretch to weeks, and then all the way to the end of the season. The Barry Bonds Intentional Walk streak would remain unbroken. At some point, it achieves so much momentum that it becomes a fact of Baseball.
And sometime during the 2008 season, it becomes so routine that it becomes just a part of the game, like the National Anthem or the Seventh-Inning Stretch. In fact, it becomes a tradition for all of the fans to turn around in their seats facing away from the field until Bonds takes his four outside pitches. Let every single Barry Bonds at-bat become a unanimous display of our contempt for him personally and his brand of baseball.
There should probably a special song played during his at-bat. I'm stuck; I'm leaning towards "Shot Full Of Love" by Juice Newton. It has a certain on-the-nose air about it but I wonder if there isn't a better tune out there.
Let him retire with the all-time Most-Walked Batter crown. Leave the home-run title exactly where it is.
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7/30/2007, 7:25 am
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Opprime
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
AMEN Brother!
--- " I don't know the details of how it happened, but it did and it was stupid." ™
My response to a discussion about the Red Hulk story line in the shout.
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7/30/2007, 8:22 am
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lord eddy
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
Hell !@#$ YES.
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7/30/2007, 10:11 am
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Optimal Megatron
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
Boy...this makes me miss the days when the HR competitors were Sosa and McGuire. :lol
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7/30/2007, 4:59 pm
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Matrix Dragon
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
quote:
"Aaron, of course, was widely rumored to have not enhanced his hitting capabilities nor the size of his head with any performance-enhancing drugs whatsoever, nor did investigators ever suspect Aaron of committing perjury to cover up steroids which he did not use. Other than that, though, it's just like history repeating itself!"
- Keith Olbermann on Barry !@#$ Bonds (that is, you know, his official name now) approaching the all-time major-league home-run record
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7/30/2007, 5:39 pm
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Opprime
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
quote: Optimal Megatron wrote:
Boy...this makes me miss the days when the HR competitors were Sosa and McGuire. :lol
Well, I think it was because those 2 were very humble about it. Bonds, on the other hand, is a giant walking dick in a giants uniform
--- " I don't know the details of how it happened, but it did and it was stupid." ™
My response to a discussion about the Red Hulk story line in the shout.
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7/30/2007, 7:25 pm
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Greatshot
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
When Barry's pissed off the Aussie you know it's bad. :lol
As the resident baseball fanatic, I absolutely loathe the guy. I wish he's join the Ray Chapman club.
But, that said.. he's hated because he's the one breaking the most cherished record in sports. He's by far not even close to the only one who did it, but the fact he's such a dickhole is what turns so many people against him. But baseball's reaping what it sewed when it turned a blind eye to Caminiti's whistleblowing 10 years ago. The steroid home run was putting people back in the seats.. now it's karma that the roid king's got the title.
I think Hammerin Hank's got the right idea. don't applaude him, dont boo him.. just.. do something else that day. In his usual, classy way, Aaron said everything that needed to be said with that statement.
Last edited by Greatshot, 7/30/2007, 7:56 pm
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7/30/2007, 7:55 pm
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Matrix Dragon
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
I don't even follow baseball and I hate the prick. Says something.
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7/30/2007, 8:43 pm
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lord eddy
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
quote: When word got out that Bob Costas expressed the opinion on his HBO show that Bonds used performance-enhancing drugs — an opinion he shares with no more than a couple of hundred million people — Bonds called Costas a “little midget man” and accused him of irresponsible journalism.
This is the same Barry Bonds who constantly whines that people don't understand him and make irresponsible statements about him. Yet he has no trouble making the same sorts of statements about one of the most respected and honorable journalists the industry has ever seen.
To say Costas has no integrity is like saying the Pacific Ocean has no water. Costas gave an opinion. Bonds responded with a school-yard bully’s taunt.
It’s a measure of Costas’ character that he responded by saying, “As anyone can plainly see, I’m 5-6½ and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally.”
Touché.
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7/31/2007, 10:50 am
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Greatshot
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Re: Barry !@#$ Bonds (Yes, that's his legal name now)
!@#$ CHEATING BASTARD! :cuss
Tied with Hank now.
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8/4/2007, 10:54 pm
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